Reading and Riding

Reading and Riding

October 25th, 2010 // 5:54 pm @

Commuting by train to work frees up time to read while someone else drives. I often look around at the others to see what they’re reading or figure out what they might be thinking about.

One man is really interesting – I see him in the evenings. He’s a larger man, his clothes are big and saggy yet I see that he cares enough about himself to choose clothes that suit him. In the evening, he chats on his cell phone for a while – he really takes the time to speak to his callers: he patiently explains details that are boring and mundane to me and, therefore, don’t need explanation. When he’s done he falls asleep.

Some snooze – heads bob up and down while others keep still with their eyes closed. The man I’m writing about really sleeps. He closes his eyes and seems to melt into his sleep – his chin slowly drops to his chest, his folded hands slide over his stomach, and his legs look very relaxed (far from flattering). His back relaxes and he slowly transforms from a sleeping man into what looks like a sack with a face. He is sleeping so deeply that he exudes relaxation and can’t be bothered to consider what others might think when they see him: he’s tired and he’s asleep.

While he sleeps, he does not snore, does not move. He just breathes steadily and is completely inside his sleep. It’s an amazing transformation to see since he so willingly accepts and enjoys his sleep.

Unfortunately I don’t stay long enough to see how he wakes up – perhaps he wakes up slowly or just pops open his eyes and walks off the train when it stops at his station. Whatever happens, I’m sure it’s not as interesting as the transition into sleep.

I have been suffering from writers block for more than four years. Suffering, because I really see writing as an outlet for all that I take in. I have been blocked because I think I was judging myself as I wrote and, ultimately, stopped writing for fear of disappointing myself and others. I’d like to say that I’m back, yet I am hesitant since I’m not sure if the block is really clear or is just a out of the way enough to let a few words through. Oddly, I haven’t had any difficulties writing technical work: articles, emails, assessments, etc – the writer’s block seems to affect only my creative side. Probably the difference between speaking to someone about something, versus telling a story -รก they’re two completely different things.

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